If someone told you that, earlier in the day, they had been turning the telegraph wheel when they bumped their head on the headache post and had to sit for a while on the lazy bench, you might be forgiven for assuming they were either speaking a near-dead language or a candidate for the loony bin. If they then said that, while sitting on the lazy bench, they had drilled a screw, you might consider moving away slowly without turning your back. Or you might want to sit on the lazy bench a while and visit with the old cable tool driller. If the conversation ran into the twilight hours, the old fellow might light the yellow dogs but he probably couldn't tell you a lot about grief stems - that would take a rotary driller.

It is a funny, but rich, language that our industry has developed. And it changes daily. Some words are ugly beyond belief - tortuosity comes to mind - and, in my opinion, need not have been invented. Some roll pleasantly off the tongue, redolent of sophisticated origins - I have always liked the word (name actually) Chenevert, as in the Chenevert Method. If it were a cheese, I have no doubt I would love it. Others are scientifically matter-of-fact, like conductometric titration. Others are just plain fun. Ever try using the phrase "nipple up" at a social gathering of the uninitiated?

All of this musing started courtesy of Gretchen Gillis at Schlumberger. Gretchen and a few of her colleagues have been working quietly for a number of years on a new, interactive oilfield glossary. It is a super effort at producing a really vital reference source. And it's fun too. I am probably abusing its intended purpose, but I have been spending time scrolling through it looking for unique and interesting words, many of which I would not associate with our industry.

Take "fatty-acid soap" for example. According to the glossary, fatty-acid soap is "a salt formed when a fatty acid reacts with a metal oxide or hydroxide. Fatty acids and lime, Ca(OH)2 form emulsifiers for oil muds. Fatty acids reacted with sodium hydroxide (NaOH) or potassium hydroxide (KOH) are laundry soaps, some used as foamers for air drilling . . ."

I like "craton" too. I am not a G&G type and, thus, did not know that a craton was "a stable area of continental crust that has not undergone much plate tectonic or orogenic activity for a long period."
That might give you a flavor of the fun you can have looking through the glossary. But its real value comes when you find those sticky, "not-my-discipline" words that you really need to understand. You can find them at www.glossary.oilfield.slb.com.

As for the cable tool terms:

Telegraph Wheel - by turning the wheel, a driller stopped, started and controlled the speed of the steam engine that powered the rig.

Headache Post - positioned above the driller's head, it protected him if the walking beam parted from the Pittman or the crank.

Lazy Bench - an observation bench on early rig floors often used by scouts, toolpushers and visitors.
Drill a Screw - the cable tool line (drill line) is attached to a temper screw that is let out as the hole progresses to maintain proper tension on the drill line. When the temper screw is let out its full length, a screw has been drilled.

Yellow Dog - an iron, double spouted lantern used to illuminate rigs prior to electric lighting.
Grief Stem - early slang for the kelly.