People are our most important asset. Our goal is to be the low-cost producer. Mix these two lofty ideals together, and the results may not be pretty. However, at least in hindsight and to the outside observer, they may be humorous.
In one company's posh downtown headquarters, a janitorial worker and two mail clerks were terminated. The clerical staff was not asked to assume the extra duties because they were unionized and the work was not included in their union-approved job descriptions.
Instead, about 120 professionals, including the engineering department, were asked to empty their own trash cans and get their own incoming and outgoing mail from the mail room, a slow elevator ride away.
"Most estimates were that about 24 low-cost man-hours per day were replaced by at least 50 rather expensive man-hours, but the office services budget looked better," one source said.
"We found out who the slobs were as some trash cans started to smell pretty bad. Eventually, about 5 months later, all the services were reinstated, but the damage was done. Important mail sat for several days as unknown deadlines were missed.
"Over the next couple of years, about half the professionals found more rewarding work elsewhere."
Was it the slobs, whose trash had the "noise of last weeks' lunch moving around in them," who didn't bother to find a new job?
Another of my sources recalled the good old days during the great oil boom - before e-mail and phone mail - when "each small group of half a dozen to a dozen geoscientists and engineers had a flesh and blood secretary/receptionist." Since this was also before cost containment, instead of having to justify keeping people, the burden on management was to show why they should go.
"One of the team leaders felt that his receptionist never seemed to be around when he needed her and decided to investigate." A quick check indicated she was spending too much time in the bathroom.
"In order to get rid of her cleanly, he needed to collect evidence. However, being a busy and important supervisor, he enlisted a male geologist whose office door happened to be immediately across the hall from the ladies' room. He was given the order that his main task for the next month was to record in a log book the name, entry time and exit time of all female employees entering the bathroom and to total up the time each spent.
"While getting little accomplished in his chosen field of prospect generation, the geologist compiled a splendid log and summary chart.
"The supervisor was pleased because the chart, which resulted from the geologist's independent audit, showed that his hated receptionist spent more time in the bathroom than any of the other women. Soon after, the chart was used as an exhibit in her dismissal."
My source wondered "if the repetition of such behavior may be part of the reason" for the company's demise many years later.
Large size can insulate a company from small stupidities, but keep an eye on the big picture. Silly business decisions can add up and scale up.
You may want to vote with your feet before the party is over.
Eve Sprunt, evesprunt@aol.com, is senior science and technology coordinator for Chevron Corp.