A fellow could be blamed for thinking that behind every really good thing in life there's someone or something trying to screw it up. Take fishing for example. In all the years I spent offshore, fishing was great off duty relaxation. And the eating wasn't too bad either. Now I read in the October issue of Drill Bits, published by our friends at the International Association of Drilling Contractors, that the Louisiana Department of Fisheries and Wildlife is cracking down on offshore workers who appear to be taking fish for commercial purposes. Nuts! Another treasured offshore pleasure is in danger.

As I recall it, fishing was always really fun, but much better as spectator entertainment. Take the Rob and Gary "adventure," for example. Some 20 years ago plus, in an East Cameron block in the Gulf of Mexico, we were working over some pesky wells. The work required a crew to orient and perforate and I, like many of my cohorts, had a favorite crew, Gary and Robert. Gary was crew chief and Robert was his hand. Robert was a fairly short fellow who liked to fish more than to breathe. If you needed him, you would always find Robert on the boat deck, fishing.

The particular East Cameron platform on which we were working had a large, and imposing, offshore installation manager (although we didn't use that term then in the Gulf) by the name of Gary. Gary had a knack for crafting handsome fishing spears from leftover subsurface safety valve control line tubing.
As one might expect, Robert developed a hankering to use one of Gary's spears in his continual pursuit of finned trophies. Gary, towering over Robert, refused repeated entreaties from Robert for the loan of a spear. Robert, however, persisted and wore Gary down. More than a little irritated, Gary allowed as how Robert could borrow a spear but the cost in personal discomfort would be large indeed if that spear should come back to Gary damaged in any way.

Spear in hand, Robert hastened to the boat deck. Some time later, a number of the platform hands heard a faint cry for help coming from a point some distance off the platform.

You have probably guessed what happened but I will tell you anyway. Robert, anxious not to lose Gary's spear, tied the end of the line around his wrist. He then stuck the spear solidly into a 5-ft (1.5-m) plus barracuda that took off like a bolt of lightning. Robert, of course, exited the platform in rather a hurry and was being towed slowly toward Mexico. But, everything turned out all right. We launched the escape capsule and rescued Robert. We also managed to retrieve the barracuda. I am not sure that Robert saw the humor in the adventure, but the rest of us enjoyed it mightily. And now the state of Louisiana wants to seriously limit the fun, and collect a little money along the way.

Since the limit of cleaned fish that a worker may now possess offshore Louisiana is just 2 pounds, Robert's barracuda would have been a serious violation. I don't think that barracuda is particularly edible, and I don't think any of us came close to damaging the population of any species of marine life. So I am a bit befuddled by the sudden push to punish offshore workers.

I guess I shouldn't be, though. The oil industry is still the target de jour. If you think that the previous story is fishy, consider the recent decision in favor of the state of Alabama which was awarded US $11.9 billion by a jury of local yokels in a gas royalties dispute with ExxonMobil. Compensatory damages were estimated at $63.6 million. Leaving $11.8 billion as punitive damages. That's absurdity to the nth power.
Talk about fishy.