We all travel a lot, and we all have the occasional trip from Hades. Here is one for the books.

Feb. 13, 0700. It’s a Friday, the 13th. I should have known better. Leave the house for George Bush International Airport in Houston en route to St. Johns, Newfoundland. Destination — a board meeting of the Centre for Marine CNG followed by a presentation and panel session at the Newfoundland and Labrador Oil and Gas Industries Association (NOIA) annual meeting. I am to fly to Newark, N.J., and change planes for St. Johns. Departure is 1010 Houston time with arrival at St. Johns a 2250. St. Johns is two hours and 30 minutes ahead of Houston, meaning the flight is 10 hours and 10 minutes in duration, including the layover in Newark.

Feb. 13, 1330. Finally taxi out and take off from Houston. The first aircraft has problems with the aft floor exit lighting, which they struggle to repair for more than two hours. Regulations say you cannot become airborne unless they function. I can see that. Historically, few people survive airline crashes but it is comforting to know that the lights might still be on in the aft floor when they bring in the body bags. In the meantime, more than two thirds of the passengers are on pins and needles, with tight international connections in Newark.

We finally arrive at Newark at about 1820 New Jersey time (NJT) by which time most, if not all, of the connecting flights have left. Mine, on the other hand, would have left had not it been cancelled due to fog in St. Johns.

Friday 13, 2030 NJT. Nothing like a peaceful night in Newark. Oh, were it that easy. We are told that, upon deplaning, we will be met by a group of red-coated airline employees who will work to expedite our schedules and stayovers. An admirable idea, but no execution. After a bit of a search, we (the passengers) spot a man (I use the word loosely) in a red coat glaring from behind a counter. When asked for assistance, his response is, in a loud, rude and menacing voice with finger pointing, “there, go over there!” When we arrive “over there” the line is long and the desk attendants more intent on reviewing the contents of the latest gossip magazines than assisting customers. When my turn comes, I book a flight for 0700 the next morning and request that I be allowed to claim my bag since I have no change of clothes. Okay, I am told, go to carousel 9 and your bag will be delivered. “It may take a while,” I am told. After an hour and a half wait, I go to the baggage counter to inquire about my bag, only to be told that no one has authorized my bag to be given to me and that it is already checked in for the next morning’s flight. I could, I am told, wait another one to two hours and they might be able to retrieve my bag. Exhausted and bagless, I leave the airport for a hotel mindful that I have to arise at 0400 to catch the flight the next morning.
Saturday 14, 0445. Arrive back at airport, in yesterday’s clothes, for scheduled 0700 departure. We board but can’t leave the terminal as they do not have the proper charts for the flights to St. Johns and there is little food aboard. Depart at 0730 with, I assume, charts in hand — but with little food. Fly to St. Johns and circle for an hour — fogged in. Eat one of the few muffins on board. Divert to Halifax at 1400 St. Johns time (SJT) for fuel and sandwiches. Depart for St. Johns, AGAIN, at 1630 SJT with arrival at 1755. On the plane nine hours for a three hour flight. Clear immigration and wait for bags in customs. One hour passes — no bags for anyone on our flight. Seems that they forgot to unload them (at least we are told) in the rush of incoming planes as the fog lifted. They have gone back to Newark. File lost luggage report and head for hotel bar.

And that’s the way it goes sometimes when, as in this industry, you travel a lot. Total distance traveled — about 3,200 miles (5,149 km). Elapsed time — about 30 hours. Average speed of a modern passenger jet on this trip — a little more than 100 mph.

By the way, got the bags the next morning, on Sunday.

Many, many thanks to Continental Airlines.